SIGNS YOU MAY BE RECOVERING FROM MAFIA WARS FEVER

Check for these Symptoms:

Whaddya mean, I'm RIPE?!

You walk by a mirror and see this

You shower and brush your teeth.

You change your underwear even if you don’t shower.

You don’t run out of cigarettes because you are no longer chain smoking.

You stop scanning your email for Zynga gifts before you read everything else.

I'm ROLLING in it!

You are no longer afraid to log out for fear of being snuffed ...on top of that, you have so much money in all your accounts you could be offline for days and never go bankrupt. 

Zzzzzzzzz

You go to bed at 11:00 p.m., not 4:00 a.m. and stop setting the clock to collect on your properties for fear of being robbed.

There’s nothing left to slam Zynga about and even if there is, frankly, they don’t give a rat’s ass about it and ultimately, neither do you.

Take your best shot!

You stop sending gifts posting tiny urls instead.

You’ve found so many shortcuts you could gift away half your inventory and STILL kick ass.

The bot attackers make you yawn and you don’t even bother asking your mafia to attack them anymore.

Your missions expire and you don’t give a crap.

You hit people’s slot machines even though you ran out of free spins and start dipping into your own account to play them… then you start sending your family energy packs one after another after another after another ad nauseum.

Awwwww, miss me?

You rediscover your pets, plants, children, friends, and spouses -- going to great lengths to resurrect them and the relationships you once shared.

You remember somebody's birthday (unfortunately, you recall it was right when they introduced Bangkok).

You post things on FB that have NOTHING to do with MW and you answer the comments!

FRINGE! HAVEN! SYFY!

You discover the season premieres on TV; you stop setting the recorder for shows because you actually watch them before the recorder is full and stops recording them anyway.

Whooooops!

You realize you’ve been playing in your sweats, underwear, or jammies for so long that when you get dressed to finally leave the house, you find that your jeans don’t fit anymore because your ass got so fat sitting in front of the monitor.

Goodbye, Old Paint

You start caring that your house is in foreclosure.  You finally open all your mail and find out your car was repossessed (you never bothered to look out the window).

When you DO go outside, (to also buy hair dye) you have to wear sunglasses and sun block with SPF 5000 for a MONTH.

You start a blog and look for a JOB.

DISCLAIMER:  Contents such as text, graphics, images, information regarding your condition are for informational purposes only.  The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 

• Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your symptoms including, but not limited to,  withdrawals, weight gain, weight loss, loss of consortium, loss of affection, headaches, nausea, constipation, failure to pay child or spousal support, diarrhea, liver failure, kidney failure, detached retina, macular degeneration, divorce, palsy, punitive damages and/or alienation of affection, stubbed toes, festered fingers, feminine odor, incontinence, erectile dysfunction, OCD, ADD, or M-O-U-S-E.

• By no means, disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read regarding the above-listed symptoms.  If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. 

• Continue playing MW solely at your own risk.