Wednesday, January 12, 2011

CONFESSIONS OF A GREASE JUNKIE


EVIL
Dang you, Colonel Sanders
You bearded, fat ol’ stinker
I got the crave, and you know where,
Completely.  Hook, line, sinker.

You took that dirty barnyard bird
Transformed him, yes, you did
It’s juicy, greasy, man oh man
My butt’s now gauged in grids.


I may have overdone it










Sigh

As if the chicken weren’t enough
You baked a little dough
Into a fluffy biscuit
Now, I cry, “Mo! Mo! Mo!”

The Lure

Oh, lay it on me, Harlan
Give me breasts and thighs
Just driving past the signage
Wells tears up in my eyes.


Pass the graaaaaaaaaaaavy!
Drape me in that cole slaw
No one can duplicate
Gimme me taters, gimme gravy
Hurry!  I cain’t wait!





Oh, Colonel, sometimes late at night
I muse upon those legs,
Tender, hot and succulent
Which came first?  Them or the eggs?

Were I one of your chickens
I’d beg, cajole; say please,
For you to fry me up, real good,
Laid out for all to see.

It's true: I eat like a horse
Me crispy or me regular
Me spicy, or me not
Matters not a whit to me
I just don’t give a snot.






Click here for a treat
I’m willing, ready, able
To do most anything
Cuz just one sniff of KFC
Makes my heart simply sing.

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